People keep asking the same questions over and over. Here are your answers.
Why are you wearing sunglasses?
I just had corrective laser eye surgery and I’m sensitive to the light. Fun story: I decided to have surgery three days before I was scheduled to speak at our young adult service which is held at a dimly lit bar, so I had to wear my sunglasses before and after I spoke. People gave me strange looks. I didn’t like it. Also, I am very cool and mysterious.
How did it go?
Really well! Thanks for asking.
When did you have the surgery?
A couple of days before Halloween, which meant I had to incorporate sunglasses into my costume. I was already wearing plaid, so I threw my hair up in a man-bun and gave myself a beard. Boom. I dressed up as every guy ever.
Can you see better already?
Yes! The day after surgery I had 20/20 vision in both eyes. It wasn’t crisp, but it was still very good very quickly. My doctor tells me I’m healing remarkably fast. Like within the top 5%. I should probably get a trophy or a medal, but they don’t have them for those types of things, apparently.
Did it hurt?
Not really. The surgery and recovery felt uncomfortable at times, but definitely not painful. When the freezing came off my eyes, it felt as though I had been cutting an onion. Just some burning and stinging the first afternoon. I slept through most of it. The next few days they were uncomfortable, but again, not exactly painful. Now they just get a little dry.
Was it scary? What was the scariest part?
I was feeling pretty fine about the procedure since medical stuff doesn’t typically phase me. It was definitely an odd experience. It felt like I was watching a weirdly up-close movie, but I couldn’t feel anything. During the first part of the procedure, they put this little monacle on your eye, and it presses down and everything goes black (I KNOW). Then they cut a flap in your eye with a laser, which releases a bunch of bubbles, which also cloud your vision. That made me a little anxious. When the bubbles dissipate, they do the actual prescription correction. The surgeon peels back layers of your eyes (I KNOW) and the lights go from green and red to white (I KNOW) and then you smell some burning hair (surprise! It’s your eyeball) for about 5 seconds (I KNOW) when they actually fire the laser and then they put the layers back and smooth them down with what looks like a tiny squeegee. The squeegee part made me want to giggle. It all sounds bad, but it wasn’t, I promise. The worst part for me though? They had to tape the eye they weren’t working on shut. When they removed the tape I almost barfed due to my bandaid phobia (I know). But overall, it wasn’t scary. Just strange and uncomfortable.
Do you ever need to wear glasses again?
Not until I need reading glasses when I’m an old lady. But everyone needs those eventually.
Would you recommend it to anyone?
Definitely. It was a relatively non-traumatic experience and the results have been insanely good. If you’re a candidate, do it.
Can you shoot lasers out of your eyes now?