Ask Amanda 1

Ask Amanda: Personal Style


This week I thought I’d post an Ask Amanda question and answer here on my “home” blog instead of the usual Converge. This is a friendly reminder that I am still answering your toughest questions about life, love and anything in between. Send me your questions and I’ll answer them asbestos I can.


 

Dear Amanda,

What does it mean when someone is complimenting your style and says it’s classic, unique and…homey?!

 Hollie, 20, Elmira


My dear Hollie,

Thanks so much for writing in with this conundrum. I’m so #blessed to be able to provide you with some insight. It’s people like you with issues like this that keep my column afloat. Thank you. Your trust in my words is so affirming.

I’ve read and reread your question in depth and I think I have some words of wisdom to dispense. I pray that your heart is prepared for what it is about to receive.

A compliment is always nice to hear. The punctuation in your letter makes me think that you weren’t appreciative of the compliment. Please remember to always smile and say thank you to EVERY compliment you receive, ESPECIALLY those that are mildly offensive. This way people will know you are a kind and grateful human being and not a giant snot. Those ellipses and that question mark/exclamation mark combo definitely don’t portray that about you. You should work on that. Always, always, always be mindful of your punctuation. It could damage lives if you’re not careful.

Now on to the words in your question. Let’s talk about this classic and unique thing. It tells me that they’re grasping at words to try and explain your style. The discrepancy between “classic” and “unique” means they are confused by what you’re wearing. They can’t figure you out. Sometimes this is a really good thing, but in this case I’m not so sure. Maybe all of your pieces that you’re wearing are fine and dandy, but the combination is off. Did you get dressed in the dark again? Are you maybe wearing a mini skirt with sneakers? How about a blazer with sweatpants? Classic, but unique. You are a walking contradiction.

And now about this “homey” piece. I don’t know why you even asked this question, to be honest. The answer seems very clear to me. There are two possible explanations for the use of this word:

1. You’re incredibly gangster. The person in question appreciates all the time you spent in the “hood” (that’s gangster speak for “neighbourhood”). Do you wear lots of bandanas? Maybe you roll up one pant leg but not the other (and it’s NOT for bike riding purposes. Gangsters don’t ride bicycles). Maybe they’re terribly afraid of you and think you went off the rails a la Martha Stewart and you’ve done time in the big house. Maybe they mistook your single clown tear tattoo for a gang tattoo. Maybe they are just appreciating your gold teeth (or “grill” as one might say). This is one logical explanation for the word “homey”. Although, I think the spelling you’re looking for might be “homie”. You could always consult dictionary dot com on that one, though. I’m no expert.

2. You remind them of their living room. Maybe your floral print cardigan is reminiscent of their throw pillows. Maybe your lampshade hat is a little too extreme for their taste. You don’t need to carry coasters with you wherever you go. Maybe you shouldn’t lie under peoples’ coffee tables and call yourself “Matt” when you go for a visit. Maybe – just maybe – you should stop covering yourself in thick plastic to keep your clothes clean and good looking for special occasions.

Girl, every day is a special occasion, and no one wants to sit on that plastic anyway. Throw away your inhibitions! Get rid of your protective armor! Don’t be afraid to spill something on your clothes! This is your chance! Embrace life! Take chances! Be BRAVE! YOLO, amirite?!

My dear friend, don’t be disheartened. This kind soul was only trying to tell you something that you can’t see for yourself. Listen to their words. Have an open and receptive heart. Maybe go on a shopping spree or something. I’m excited to see what’s in store for you.

Lampshades and pillow shams,

Amanda


 

Here’s what you need to do to be a part of the fun:

If you have a question, leave a comment, send a tweet (@mandiemariebee) or an email (askamanda@convergemagazine.com). Please include your first name (I won’t answer any questions sent in by bubbleguppy5000. Unless that’s your real name), age, and place of residence. I’ll do my best to answer your questions. Please note: Converge Magazine reserves the right to edit your questions for spelling, grammar, and brevity.

If you’d like to read less absurd and more serious Ask Amanda columns, please visit Converge Magazine.

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1 Comment

  • Eric L. Peterson says: July 28, 2014 at 10:43 pm

    You are hilarious. Heading to go read more of your responses.

    Reply
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